I applied for a passport renewal two months ago. I won’t receive it in time to present my research at an international conference. This post is about what that broke in me.
Views expressed below are solely mine and do not reflect views of any affiliated institution or persons.
Written with Claude Opus 4.5
Looking back in 2025, one of my favourite moments of the year was when an old American lady said, “He’s Indian. They are gentlemen.” Tears welled up in my eyes.
I came to the US in August 2016 when I was 17. I soon realized I would no longer be Prudhvi first. I would be Indian first. Every time I met someone, for them they were meeting an Indian. Only after we talked for a few days would they meet Prudhvi.
So I straightened my back, put on a friendly smile, and tried to be the best Indian I could be. Every conversation felt like I was carrying the Indian flag. Stopping it from falling in the mud. I am sure I didn’t meet the high standards in every social interaction. Nonetheless I would try each time.
Because a part of me believed that if I strived for excellence as an Indian, India would too.
The forts in Maharashtra taught me this. Enduring centuries of harsh monsoons. The British policy of demolishing them. They still stand. Mumbaikars taught me this. Human Bodies packed so tight in trains that they approached absolute zero density at absolute hot temperature. The infrastructure failing them daily. And still they show up. Still they get things done.
I did not ask for any grand acts of justice from the Indian government. A passport is a document certifying a person is a citizen of a country. This was my third passport, not even my first. My lineage does not come from any distant land. As far as I know, my ancestors were in India before the times of Ashoka.
This should have been easy.
Two months. No passport. I will not be presenting my paper at the conference. If the government can’t issue passports on time, why would I believe it in any of its grandiose promises.
In India, people always say “Everything that happens, happens for your own good.” I used to find this statement infuriating. Now I find it sad. It implies there is no action someone can take to reach a better state. One must find happiness in whatever state they are in. It reflects millennia of feudalism, casteism, racism, colonialism, patriarchy, and other social injustice words I may be unaware of. No matter how unfair you may believe your present is, the Indian view is that your belief must change, not your present.
I wrote a paper along with my co-authors. A conference of scientists accepted it. That is all this was. Yet a government, with no understanding of the work stands between us.
In my time in America, I understood America is great because it believes the world must change based on its beliefs. Some of those beliefs may be misguided or unfair. But nonetheless, the alternative is to lie bare for the world to trample upon us. As such, I have chosen to believe in the following:
- Freedom of movement of labour
- Freedom of movement of capital / goods / services
I wholeheartedly believe in the pursuit of these two principles along with other well-established principles in the free world. I have now come to view the above two as necessary to eliminate poverty and human suffering. When I look back at this post after a decade or two, I hope to be able to say I acted in accordance in pursuit of those principles.